Sunday, July 5, 2009

I sit here asking

all of these questions, all of these things.
I ask why people move, why people die, why people grow apart from each other.
I get no answer from some man in the sky
I get no answer from some man in the ground
I get no answer from man himself.
Why am I the way I am, who exactly helps shape who I am?
Its like I'm some piece of clay constantly being sculped.
Each artist, sits down and takes their time, until their hands are so dry, that they let a new artist try their luck.
Who are the few who tap on the artist shoulder to return to their previous work?
I dont know, I wish I did.

People are leaving, and I can't do anything about it.
Some aren't far, a few miles, maybe a city away.
But some are states away, some I will miss so much.

Some that I miss, I was extremely comfortable with, so close to.
Mr.R, Mr.H, Ms. K
Im so comfortable with them, beyond what you know.
I could walk in a room and be greeted with a hug, one that lasts longer than normal
a smiling face that asks simply how my day was, giving either sympathy or happiness with the response.
For no reason, a hand or two to hold, just because we can.
What makes the bounderies between friends? is it dating somebody else? the fact that people who are dating hold hands? hugging?
Who knows what it is, its odd to have friends who are close who I dont do that with, I want to but I dont, because I fear of what they will think.

for those of you who didnt know, dont compare to someone else in front of my face.
it makes me feel like Im just not good enough for you
Im not good enough of a friend.
I'm sorry.


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