Ive found that I can be a terrible person, Ive known of this though, no problem, everyone has an evil. But recently Ive seen that terrible girl act out in ways she shouldnt. Why? I dont know to be honest.
Let me see if I can explain just at least something;
Hun, to be honest. Ive been having alot of problems, lots of school work, missing my sister, being alone alot, and fighting with you. Its been way to hard, and Im so close to my breaking point I could scream.
We fight, I dont know why, but we do. I dont talk to you because I know that it leads to fighting. I dont want it, I dont, no fighting.
You're very sweet, you're a great guy, you are, but there are things that just dont work well with me.
I dont know what all they are. But its like youve forgotten how old I am. Im only 15, I cant hang out every day. I have friends that I want to see from time to time, I cant devote my time to just one person all the time. It shuts me out from everyone, like it did before when I dated ryan. I forgot about everyone else and devoted much of my time with him. He was my first boyfriend, so I acted like an idiot and did so. The second time around I want friends in my life, and its like when I tell you Im going out with a friend or Im going with my mother someplace you just get too upset. too upset for me, I just can't... I dont know take it. Now Im scared to even be around you because Im afraid we'll fight, it just doesnt feel right with all of this fighting to be over at your house. To even talk feels unnatural. There are other things, but they are difficult to explain.
Look hun Im sorry for being a bitch and ignoring you, but Im scared to talk to you out of fear knowing that soon we'll fight. Im avoiding the fighting, so Im avoiding speaking. Im sorry that isnt nice. I know it isnt and Im sorry. but Im having a hard time right now with school and family.
I dont know Jon. Part of me wants to lets everything go right now so I can finally relax and stop worrying, part of me doesnt because Ive had a good time with you, you're a great guy jonathan. right now Im having personal trouble that I dont want to talk about to anyone really.